I watched this presentation on facebook, shared by the infamous Craig Harper. And the overwhelming feeling of relief that I got from my new awareness around regret and what itactually means was so profound that I immediately felt the need to share my thoughts and experiences.
I, like many people have been quite noble in my declaration that "I have no regrets" I've said many, many times "I don't regret a thing in my life, because every choice and mistake that I've made has made me who I am today". And look at me. Aren't I awesome? So why would I regret anything that contributed to my awesomeness..... seriously.
I've always denounced my regrets by boldly claiming that those choices were made simply because of where I was at that period of time in my life and I did the best with what I had. No regrets. None. Its all good. It's all served a purpose. Its all just part of the journey.
.....hmmmmm.
I denied the regrets because behind them lurked something a little more sinister. Something that has controlled my life, my emotions, my self belief, my self worth and my ability to stand in my power for most of my life. For me, with regret came shame and guilt. Even saying those words out loud brings a feeling of dread. And of course shame and guilt come along with their very own beat-me-up stick. I've been carrying mine around under my coat for 20 odd years. And funnily enough, I continue to create more and more situations that allow for the beat-me-up stick to come out and play. It seems the more I have denied my "regret" the more it tries to come out and cause me to, well... beat myself up.
I loved the bit in the presentation where Kathryn speaks about the four consistent defining components of regret.
